I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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