I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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