I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
