Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
