My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just googled if crying burns calories
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
