I'm jealous of your bromance
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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