How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
