If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
