Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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