Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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