now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
