Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize