p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
