he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
