i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
