That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
