No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
