It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
