Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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