If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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