More tranny stories later!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
