If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
