My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Vodka?
Forever.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
