Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My vagina is officially offended.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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