Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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