I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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