I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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