i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
