i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
