Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
