Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
