Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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