so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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