the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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