His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
