well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
A+ Viking dick
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
