bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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