Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
