My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
