I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
