Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
