Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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