sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
