i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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