Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize