Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
