Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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