loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
