if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
