I seem to have left my pride at pride
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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