My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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