He kissed a someone with a penis
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need water and some morals
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