Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
