please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize