Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now

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(256): View more from Alabama

One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring

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