even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
