Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
