If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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