I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You were trust falling into bushes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
