i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
