I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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