But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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