The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
