Need sex. Gaining weight.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
