You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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