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when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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