it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
