we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
