I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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