you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
