I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
