you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Randomize
