apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
we're so committed to being not committed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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