I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize