I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
