She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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