great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
