Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
