Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
should my penis look like a turkey
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
