Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
