Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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